m on blog 8; "Epitome of courage"
This is a story based on a quoran I interacted with and its his take and I've just paraphrased his answer. I hope this motivates everyone who reads it!! :)
The guy whose life story this is, is Tanmay Singh. I had the pleasure of getting to know him and I've just shared his story through this answer! :)
Tanmay:-
“… I was leaving my hometown for the first time in my life, to live in a different city, a place Alien to me but I was happy. For a young chap like me, to take admission in a prestigious college was a big thing… ”
Tanmay stopped to take a glass of water in the midst of his first therapy session sitting with me, a psychologist. After a few silent moments, he started again…
Tanmay:-
“… I entered my hostel room after completing my paperwork and all other formalities. I was allotted a room on twin-sharing basis, the other guy was from Jaipur…”
This went on for a while. He told me each and every thing about the hostel, the college , PUNE and his words’ made me feel that this may be one of those frequent yet COMMON cases of substance abuse, as Tanmay looked like those guys who are on drugs…a very frail structure, less hair, a very dark complexion, talks only when he is asked to… I had made up my mind on judging him. All this went on for a while at the back of my mind…
Tanmay:-
“… I was kind of settling into the place, had made new friends, used to go out on weekends, had a lot of fun together, college was nice and hectic. My friends used to booze, smoke and do drugs; I used to enjoy their company although I never touched those things…”
It came as a shock to me, In fact a rude one as I had pre-conceived myself with some notions about him ..I penned down on my pad ‘NO SUBSTANCE ABUSE’ .
That day after our session got over, I gave Tanmay our next date for meeting. I came home at my usual time but I was not able to sleep properly. The thoughts of Tanmay were coming back again and again, to pester me. This was an un-usual phenomenon for a psychologist.
We met after a couple of days. He looked visibly poorer than our first meeting. I asked him Where did things go wrong, Son? What happened? Try to open up.
Tanmay:-
“… Sir, I am embarrassed to talk about it but as I myself have figured out , there is no way out but, to talk…”
Go on, I said.
Tanmay:-
“… after a few weeks of my college, a very common phenomenon started happening in our hostel… RAGGING…”
‘Oh! GOD. WHY ? but Why ? …’
Tanmay:-
“…Sir, we were ragged for 8 months , continuously every night and every evening. We were made to strip our clothes, we were made to do assignments for our seniors, we were made to sit naked on beer bottles….., we were hit on our genitals , we were beaten by them…”
As I was listening to this, I was kind of de-humanised for some time. I was numb. I was blank. I was spaced out. Few questions were doing rounds in my mind,… Are we really HUMANS? … Where are our values of Compassion towards fellow beings ….WHY God? WHY ?....
What was the fault of this poor lad? A youngster of probably in the last teens of his life , had to undergo such ordeal … at such a tender age.
Tanmay:-
“… our parents were abused. I was beaten badly because I did not describe my Ex-girl-friend vulgarly. I used to cry every night….”
Tanmay stopped to sigh! And the gulped a whole glass of water. I offered him mine but he politely declined . I asked him a couple of questions like about Anti-ragging bodies, talking to parents etc. He passed a sarcastic smile to let me know that he tried and failed at everything that he could do.
Tanmay:-
“… Sir, I managed through the ragging but it’s the after-effects which haunted me and still do..”
I looked at my phone, which had started to ring. It was my maa, enquiring about me. I was not at home, at my usual time…I was so engrossed talking to Tanmay that our usual 2 Hour session has lasted for about 4 Hours and 20 Minutes. I hanged up the call and smiled at HIM. He smiled back at me. I felt good.
We scheduled our next meet for next Monday.
That night, I told my mother about Tanmay. She seemed concerned and curious both at the same time… ‘seems like a nice guy to me…’ was her last reaction. Again I was not able to sleep peacefully. She told me to Relax! As he is just a patient.
She was right. He was just a patient. But something was different about him. SOMETHING.
All my regular patients sounded as if they wanted to die but he didn’t. He wanted to live. He had LIFE in him.
In our next meeting, he told me about his after-life, the period after ragging.
Tanmay:-
“…I used to stay aloof. I stopped going to classes. I stopped going out of my room, months used to pass since the last time, I used to go out of my room…I used to skip my meals. My motivation to do anything and everything was lost. My friends didn’t have the same reactions but me. Perhaps, the found solace in their bottles of Whiskey. I stopped meeting them, taking their calls… after a while; it was reciprocated from the other side as well…”
Pure symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, I had in my mind. So, Is this the reason why you dropped out? I remember him, telling me that, in our first meeting.
Tanmay:-
“… No, Sir. I am not a Coward. I don’t run away from things…”
I raised my eye-brows in disbelief but still believed him.
Tanmay:-
“… I had my 6th Semester Examinations and I was studying in my room alone. I had an urge to vomit, all of a sudden. I went to the bathroom and started puking. But, it was not Acid or food or water that was coming out but BLOOD…”
No, Please DON’T Let my thoughts roam here and there.
Tanmay:-
“… I had passed out in a pool of blood. My room-mate found me in the morning and with the help of fellow mates, I was shifted to a hospital. The college authorities contacted my parents, who rushed to Pune. I was unconscious for almost 5 days…”
Tanmay sighs! and wipes off a tear from his left cheek. I stay mute and observe him keenly. He seems unwell, un-healthy.
Tanmay:-
“… after a couple of days, I came to know that I have Stomach Cancer…”
I started to breathe heavily, almost panting. I was thinking about How is this young lad going to cope up with such emotional, physical and mental illness. I started to think or rather fear for his life. I asked him do you have suicidal tendencies?
Tanmay:-
“ No.” Pat came his reply.
“… Someone who is trying to fight a fatal disease for the past 1 year and 3 months, won’t have come to you if that was the case…”
In fact, he was right. My question was an oxy-moron in itself. I was dumb-founded by his courage. Such strength. I started to admire him.
Tanmay:-
“… I have my Chemotherapy sessions every alternate week. My Hb is 6.0, I am very weak but I still wish to live…”
It all fits in the picture …his frail structure, a dark complexion and almost no hair ….signs of a Cancer patient.
Tanmay:-
“… I wish to be an example for people to follow.. Even if I die, succumbing in my battle against Cancer. I will have no qualms…”
Stops to take a sip of water.
“…I want to emerge victorious. I want to win. I want to be known as someone who snatched life from the claws of death. I want to be epitome of courage. I want people to know that if I, In spite of so many problems can want to live and LIVE, then anybody can. I want……”
We set the date for our next meet............
sponsored by KRIPRA ASSOCIATES
The guy whose life story this is, is Tanmay Singh. I had the pleasure of getting to know him and I've just shared his story through this answer! :)
Tanmay:-
“… I was leaving my hometown for the first time in my life, to live in a different city, a place Alien to me but I was happy. For a young chap like me, to take admission in a prestigious college was a big thing… ”
Tanmay stopped to take a glass of water in the midst of his first therapy session sitting with me, a psychologist. After a few silent moments, he started again…
Tanmay:-
“… I entered my hostel room after completing my paperwork and all other formalities. I was allotted a room on twin-sharing basis, the other guy was from Jaipur…”
This went on for a while. He told me each and every thing about the hostel, the college , PUNE and his words’ made me feel that this may be one of those frequent yet COMMON cases of substance abuse, as Tanmay looked like those guys who are on drugs…a very frail structure, less hair, a very dark complexion, talks only when he is asked to… I had made up my mind on judging him. All this went on for a while at the back of my mind…
Tanmay:-
“… I was kind of settling into the place, had made new friends, used to go out on weekends, had a lot of fun together, college was nice and hectic. My friends used to booze, smoke and do drugs; I used to enjoy their company although I never touched those things…”
It came as a shock to me, In fact a rude one as I had pre-conceived myself with some notions about him ..I penned down on my pad ‘NO SUBSTANCE ABUSE’ .
That day after our session got over, I gave Tanmay our next date for meeting. I came home at my usual time but I was not able to sleep properly. The thoughts of Tanmay were coming back again and again, to pester me. This was an un-usual phenomenon for a psychologist.
We met after a couple of days. He looked visibly poorer than our first meeting. I asked him Where did things go wrong, Son? What happened? Try to open up.
Tanmay:-
“… Sir, I am embarrassed to talk about it but as I myself have figured out , there is no way out but, to talk…”
Go on, I said.
Tanmay:-
“… after a few weeks of my college, a very common phenomenon started happening in our hostel… RAGGING…”
‘Oh! GOD. WHY ? but Why ? …’
Tanmay:-
“…Sir, we were ragged for 8 months , continuously every night and every evening. We were made to strip our clothes, we were made to do assignments for our seniors, we were made to sit naked on beer bottles….., we were hit on our genitals , we were beaten by them…”
As I was listening to this, I was kind of de-humanised for some time. I was numb. I was blank. I was spaced out. Few questions were doing rounds in my mind,… Are we really HUMANS? … Where are our values of Compassion towards fellow beings ….WHY God? WHY ?....
What was the fault of this poor lad? A youngster of probably in the last teens of his life , had to undergo such ordeal … at such a tender age.
Tanmay:-
“… our parents were abused. I was beaten badly because I did not describe my Ex-girl-friend vulgarly. I used to cry every night….”
Tanmay stopped to sigh! And the gulped a whole glass of water. I offered him mine but he politely declined . I asked him a couple of questions like about Anti-ragging bodies, talking to parents etc. He passed a sarcastic smile to let me know that he tried and failed at everything that he could do.
Tanmay:-
“… Sir, I managed through the ragging but it’s the after-effects which haunted me and still do..”
I looked at my phone, which had started to ring. It was my maa, enquiring about me. I was not at home, at my usual time…I was so engrossed talking to Tanmay that our usual 2 Hour session has lasted for about 4 Hours and 20 Minutes. I hanged up the call and smiled at HIM. He smiled back at me. I felt good.
We scheduled our next meet for next Monday.
That night, I told my mother about Tanmay. She seemed concerned and curious both at the same time… ‘seems like a nice guy to me…’ was her last reaction. Again I was not able to sleep peacefully. She told me to Relax! As he is just a patient.
She was right. He was just a patient. But something was different about him. SOMETHING.
All my regular patients sounded as if they wanted to die but he didn’t. He wanted to live. He had LIFE in him.
In our next meeting, he told me about his after-life, the period after ragging.
Tanmay:-
“…I used to stay aloof. I stopped going to classes. I stopped going out of my room, months used to pass since the last time, I used to go out of my room…I used to skip my meals. My motivation to do anything and everything was lost. My friends didn’t have the same reactions but me. Perhaps, the found solace in their bottles of Whiskey. I stopped meeting them, taking their calls… after a while; it was reciprocated from the other side as well…”
Pure symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, I had in my mind. So, Is this the reason why you dropped out? I remember him, telling me that, in our first meeting.
Tanmay:-
“… No, Sir. I am not a Coward. I don’t run away from things…”
I raised my eye-brows in disbelief but still believed him.
Tanmay:-
“… I had my 6th Semester Examinations and I was studying in my room alone. I had an urge to vomit, all of a sudden. I went to the bathroom and started puking. But, it was not Acid or food or water that was coming out but BLOOD…”
No, Please DON’T Let my thoughts roam here and there.
Tanmay:-
“… I had passed out in a pool of blood. My room-mate found me in the morning and with the help of fellow mates, I was shifted to a hospital. The college authorities contacted my parents, who rushed to Pune. I was unconscious for almost 5 days…”
Tanmay sighs! and wipes off a tear from his left cheek. I stay mute and observe him keenly. He seems unwell, un-healthy.
Tanmay:-
“… after a couple of days, I came to know that I have Stomach Cancer…”
I started to breathe heavily, almost panting. I was thinking about How is this young lad going to cope up with such emotional, physical and mental illness. I started to think or rather fear for his life. I asked him do you have suicidal tendencies?
Tanmay:-
“ No.” Pat came his reply.
“… Someone who is trying to fight a fatal disease for the past 1 year and 3 months, won’t have come to you if that was the case…”
In fact, he was right. My question was an oxy-moron in itself. I was dumb-founded by his courage. Such strength. I started to admire him.
Tanmay:-
“… I have my Chemotherapy sessions every alternate week. My Hb is 6.0, I am very weak but I still wish to live…”
It all fits in the picture …his frail structure, a dark complexion and almost no hair ….signs of a Cancer patient.
Tanmay:-
“… I wish to be an example for people to follow.. Even if I die, succumbing in my battle against Cancer. I will have no qualms…”
Stops to take a sip of water.
“…I want to emerge victorious. I want to win. I want to be known as someone who snatched life from the claws of death. I want to be epitome of courage. I want people to know that if I, In spite of so many problems can want to live and LIVE, then anybody can. I want……”
We set the date for our next meet............
sponsored by KRIPRA ASSOCIATES
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